Well things are better. I might start writing in this thing more seriously at some point. It's been too long.

And my life is sad.

The woman I loved is no longer in my life. We broke up. It was inevitable I suppose, but it doesn't help. I want to wake up from this dream.

So ... badly.

I can't sleep. And it has nothing to do with insomnia.
That's the story of my life for the past few weeks. I feel like I'm rarely tired, and when I am I often would rather distract myself by watching TV and playing World of Warcraft, of course at the same time, since I can't seem to do anything BUT multitask. Sometimes I think that I am not even really living right now, but I then again what else would I be doing? Sleeping? Writing? Getting high? Partying? What? Really... there's no point but to do what you feel like doing in life. Yeah this sounds pretty hollow, guess that's the word, but so what? If you can't do what you feel like doing, when you want to, then are you living life to the fullest? Even if doing so means you are gluing yourself to a screen and consciously developing carpal tunnel? I seriously don't think that doing homework early, reading for class, being social (whatever the fuck that means, I play fucking computer games for god's sake) makes you any more alive than sitting at a keyboard talking to people you've never met about topics that, believe it or not, you actually like talking about. You fly airplanes and don't work every week? You have HOW MANY children and you play WoW? You actually like System of a Down too? You don't think they're too pretentious? Wow... and I mean WoW... life is weird. Yes so I am not really spending my time being productive, playing guitar, writing applications for all the jobs I will get rejected from by May in time for my graduation... so what else is there to do? Play video games and not sleep of course.

Wall of Text Crits you for 999999999

Win

So...

I'm here in Miami... editing my songs constantly and I gotta tell ya... drum programming is NOT easy. I constantly feel like I need to strip everything further down. Get simple. Sometimes I over complicate things. "This song DOES NOT need to have a galloping rhythm!" for example.

I am about to start a project with a guitarist and his drummer friend in Springfield, MA and I wonder how it'll turn out. I hope we can get some gigs and some good songs lined up so I can finally get a little more experience. That's what I need right now, some stage time. It'll help me understand how a crowd will react to certain kinds of music.

I also discovered that adapting previously written lyrics to music is HARD, especially when it's metal or some other alternative hard music. Very hard.

So anyway, just thought I'd let you all know what I was up to. Music mostly, so that's why you haven't seen any poems posted.

Much love.
\m/

That is the question.

I'm debating (again...) whether or not to keep my beard that I've grown out. It's not that different from the pics you guys saw from earlier on when I was in Turkey. I am not sure I like it or not, makes me look older for sure, but I can't decide whether or not I like that older look. Clean-shaven (as you've seen) I think makes me look pretty young, so I don't know if that's the vibe I want.

What do you all think? Random, but I'm curious.

EDIT - So it's done, I shaved it. So far I'm happy with it, but we'll see how long this lasts